2018年托福独立写作范文解析（2）

　　美国的大学在录取工作中越来越看重托福成绩，尤其在2012年不少美国大学提高了对国际生的托福录取标准，托福录取分数线上调幅度大概在10分左右，比如凯斯西储大学(Top38)由2011年的80分上调至2012年的90分。俄亥俄州立大学由2011年的71分上调至2012年的79分。这一现象在高端名校中更为严重，综合排名Top20的埃默里大学甚至建议学生考取托福100分以上。中国大学生去纽约、伦敦、香港的大学留学，托福成绩都是被申请学校认可的。今天课窝小编为大家准备了托福写作范文赏析，希望能够对你有所帮助，顺利通过2018年的托福考试，早日实现自己的留学梦!

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

　　1. 题目翻译：

　　父母是好的老师。 同意与否?

　　2. 审题关键词：Parents; Best teachers

　　3. 论证分析：

　　正：父母从小就和我们在一起，给我们很多的知识

　　正：父母和我们最为亲密，在任何时候，都会毫无保留地给我们知识

　　正：父母最了解我们，所以他们给我们的建议和意见都是最有针对性的

　　参考范文

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

　　Throughout my life, I have been lucky enough to have a very good relationship with my parents. They have supported me, given me necessary criticism, and taught me a great deal about how to live my life. Parents can be very important teachers in our lives; however, they are not always the best teachers.

　　本段是文章首段，对文章要讨论的内容提供了背景和话题，然后点明了作者立场，并提出论点。

　　Parents may be too close to their children emotionally. Sometimes they can only see their children though the eyes of a protector. For example, they may limit a child's freedom in the name of safety. A teacher might see a trip to a big city as a valuable new experience. However, this excursion might seem too dangerous to a parent.

　　本段是一个总分的结构。首先第1句话即点明了主旨，即家长和孩子的感情上关系太近(所以不是好的老师)。第二句话对主旨进行了简要分析。后面是补充的作者的一个生活中例子，生动具体。最后用一个however转折，对此例子进行总结概括，帮助论证了小观点。

　　此段功能

　　本段是文章的第二段，也就是正文第1段，写了支持作者立场的第1个分论点。

　　Another problem is that parents may expect their children's interests to be similar to their own. They can't seem to separate from their children in their mind. If they love science, they may try to force their child to love science too. But what if their child's true love is art, or writing, or car repair?

　　本段是一个总分的结构。首先第1句话即点明了主旨。第二句话对主旨进行了简要分析。后面是补充的一个例子，有关爱科学的家长，帮助论证了分论点。

　　此段功能

　　本段是文章的第三段，也就是正文第二段，写了支持作者立场的第二个分论点。

　　Parents are usually eager to pass on their values to their children. But should children always believe what their parents do? Maybe different generations need different ways of thinking. When children are young, they believe that their parents are always rights. But when they get older, they realize that other views exist. Sometimes parents, especially older ones, can't keep up with rapid social or technological changes. A student who has friends of all different races and backgrounds at school may find that his/her parents don't really understand or value this kind of social diversity. Sometimes kids have to find their own direction and their own beliefs.

　　本段是一个总分的结构。本段分为两个部分，是递进关系。首先第1句话即点明了主旨。第二句话用but转折，引出了一个设问。这个设问句抛出了后面对本论点的分析。后面举了一个例子，说了现在社会的多样性可能不能被他们的旧时代的家长所理解，所以家长并不是孩子好的老师。进一步得出，孩子们应该自己去寻找方向，佐证了本段分论点。

　　此段功能

　　本段是文章的第四段，也就是正文第三段，写了支持作者立场的第三个分论点。

　　The most important thing to realize is that we all have many teachers in our lives. Our parents teach us, our teachers teach us, and our peers teach us. Books and newspapers and television also teach us through the information they provide about the world. All of these sources are valuable. In conclusion, though parents are our first and perhaps most important teachers, they are not the exclusive and only teachers in our lives. Many people, social organizations and media forms all contribute to our education and influence us greatly.

　　本段是文章的尾段，对上文进行了总结和升华，并重申了论点。

　　满分因素剖析：

　　一、语言表达：

　　本文的语言使用非常优美，句式富于多变，长短句搭配合理，运用了大量从句和非谓语动词结构，使考官眼前一亮。而在用词上，文中词汇运用十分地道，表达生动，凸显了作者的很厉害的语言功底。这些都使得文章更加吸引考官的眼球。美句鉴赏：

　　1. Another problem is that parents may expect their children's interests to be similar to their own.

　　此句中出现一个表语从句，that引导的表语从句放在系动词之后，充当复合句中的表语。在写作中，可以用表语从句来表示原因，代替because：如：The reason is that ... 也可以用来阐释建议：如My suggestion is that you should...

　　2. Many people, social organizations and media forms all contribute to our education and influence us greatly.

　　此句中，动词短语contribute to意思为“对。。。产生贡献”，同义词还有make contribution to。在托福

　　中，contribute to可以作为一个阐释原因的词，前面主语是原因，后面是积极的结果。这种表达虽然没有result in，led to那样直白，但比较生动，同时暗含一种证明的态度。希望大家储备这个有短语。

　　3. Sometimes parents, especially older ones, can't keep up with rapid social or technological changes.

　　Especially older ones是一个插入语结构，用来补充说明主语parents。插入语结构在托福和

　　作文以及阅读中有着很广泛的应用，一方面可以解释句子中提到的概念，另一方面是扩充了句子的内容，是句子更加饱满。

　　动词短语Keep up with的意思是“跟上，紧随”，同义词是follow，catch up with。Keep ut with social change这种表达在托福和GRE写作中经常出现，用于过去现在对比类文章，意思为“与时俱进”。

　　4. But what if their child's true love is art, or writing, or car repair?

　　此句是作者在论证中用到的一个反问句。句中出现短语“what if”，意思为“要是。。。那会怎样?这种反问的表达增加了文章的语气和论证的力度，同时是文章更富于思辨性，给文章添彩。大家在备考托福GRE作文中议论文是不妨尝试使用反问句。

　　5. A student who has friends of all different races and backgrounds at school may find that his/her parents don't really understand or value this kind of social diversity.

　　此句是一个多从句嵌套的复合句结构。Who引导定语从句，放在名词的后面，作名词student的定语，起修饰作用。That引导宾语从句，接在及物动词find的后面，做find的宾语。Friends of different races意识是不同种族的朋友，这种A of different B的形式可以在托福作文中广泛使用。

　　二、逻辑结构

　　本文采用正正正的结构，三个正面的支持段落构成了本文完全支持的大正基调。作者的论证十分饱满，从多角度考虑问题，文中用到很多让步结构，这样一方面是文章在语气上更加强烈，另一方面使论证在逻辑上更加完整。本文的另一个亮点就是开头结尾写的非常充实。不是只有开门见山总结全文，用了让步的手法对家长对孩子的教育意义进行了肯定，进一步提出家长教育孩子的局限性。结尾部分写的非常充实。用了让步的手法对家长对孩子的教育意义进行了肯定，因为观点中绝对的少儿相对的多。最后又对文章进行了升华，点出了不只有老师是第1，我们的老师还可能有其他人，或者媒体等等，将文章上升到了一个新的层面。

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