雅思作文批改6.5-7分:第二段论证不太合理
- 2018-08-20
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背诵范文,积累常规的写作模板,词汇量和写作句型句式是雅思写作取得高分的必要因素。备考过程中发现自己的长短处,针对性攻克,高分就不远啦。今天继续分享关于雅思作文批改范文。
作文题目:
Some people think that in the modern society a person's social skills are more important than his academic qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
作文内容:
In recent years, there is an original viewpoint claiming academic qualifications are not as important as one's interpersonal social skills. As far as I can concern, these two factors are equally essential if one wants to succeed.
Normal[A1]employees have few chances to get promotion or high salaries if they lack the skill of interpersonal communication.Being filled with hundreds of thousands of professionals and talents , the society cannot pay attention to a normal worker who never shows off his strengths.[A2]Moreover, if one is good at socializing and making friends with various walks of life, it is beneficial for him to become knowledgeable and absorb the original ideas. Another merit of fostering social skills is that one can get help whenever he needs. The best example of this is China where there isan appearance of[A3]" drinking sociality". Most of Chineseman [A4]and even some women would go for a drink with others in order to expand the social circle. Knowing more people means having privilege in some cases.
Alth[A5]ough social skills are quite vital, it is also imperative to enhance academic qualifications since they're the basic foundation for further promotion. Additionally, everyone is supposed to have the expertise in one specialty. Otherwise it is difficult to make some contributions to the society. More than that, when there is a job interview, most companies would like to take academic qualifications as an indispensable factor. That's why Chinese students try their best to get good marks on the college entrance examination and tend to pursue further education after graduating from college.
Overall, these two factors have their own merits. It's advisable for people to attach importance to both two of them.
[A1]无连词,To begin with,
[A2]这句和interpersonal communication有什么关系?
[A3]a phenomenon called
[A4]men
[A5]这段建议放在社交技能前面
针对问题最大的一点指出问题:
这篇写得不错,所以纠正的地方不是很多,评语比较少。需要说的只有一点,相对来说第二段中第一个论证不太合理,建议三段放在二段前去说会更好。
附批改原图:
以上就是小编为大家介绍的关于雅思作文范文批改分享。更多雅思考试时间、雅思阅读时间等问题,可以咨询我们。
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