400-880-6200
专家免费评估 留学案例 雅思保分 免费备考资料 留学热线 400-880-6200

雅思作文批改6.5-7分:第二段论证不太合理

  • 2018-08-20     
  • 670 人浏览
  • 分享
  • 收藏

  背诵范文,积累常规的写作模板,词汇量和写作句型句式是雅思写作取得高分的必要因素。备考过程中发现自己的长短处,针对性攻克,高分就不远啦。今天继续分享关于雅思作文批改范文。

  作文题目:

  Some people think that in  the modern society a person's social skills are more important than his  academic qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

  作文内容:

  In recent years, there is an original  viewpoint claiming academic qualifications are not as important as one's  interpersonal social skills. As far as I can concern, these two factors are  equally essential if one wants to succeed.

  Normal[A1]employees have few chances to get promotion or high  salaries if they lack the skill of interpersonal communication.Being filled  with hundreds of thousands of professionals and talents , the society cannot  pay attention to a normal worker who never shows off his strengths.[A2]Moreover, if one is good at socializing and making  friends with various walks of life, it is beneficial for him to become  knowledgeable and absorb the original ideas. Another merit of fostering  social skills is that one can get help whenever he needs. The best example of  this is China where there isan appearance of[A3]" drinking sociality". Most of Chineseman [A4]and even some women would go for a drink with others in  order to expand the social circle. Knowing more people means having privilege  in some cases.

  Alth[A5]ough social skills are quite vital, it is also  imperative to enhance academic qualifications since they're the basic  foundation for further promotion. Additionally, everyone is supposed to have  the expertise in one specialty. Otherwise it is difficult to make some  contributions to the society. More than that, when there is a job interview,  most companies would like to take academic qualifications as an indispensable  factor. That's why Chinese students try their best to get good marks on the  college entrance examination and tend to pursue further education after  graduating from college.

  Overall, these two factors have their own  merits. It's advisable for people to attach importance to both two of them.

  [A1]无连词,To begin with,

  [A2]这句和interpersonal communication有什么关系?

  [A3]a phenomenon called

  [A4]men

  [A5]这段建议放在社交技能前面

  针对问题最大的一点指出问题:

  这篇写得不错,所以纠正的地方不是很多,评语比较少。需要说的只有一点,相对来说第二段中第一个论证不太合理,建议三段放在二段前去说会更好。

  附批改原图:

微信图片_20180820180533.jpg

  以上就是小编为大家介绍的关于雅思作文范文批改分享。更多雅思考试时间、雅思阅读时间等问题,可以咨询我们。

 . '文章底图' .
课窝考试网(http://www.ikewo.cn)声明

本站凡注明原创和署名的文章,未经课窝考试网许可,不得转载。课窝考试网的部分文章素材来自于网络,版权归原作者所有,仅供学习与研究,如果侵权,请提供版权证明,以便尽快删除。

专家答疑
  • 点击刷新验证码
  • 获取验证码
确认提交
阅读排行
在线咨询
扫一扫获取最新考试资讯
400-880-6200
立即咨询
精品推荐