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雅思作文批改6.5分:结构简洁,很优秀

  • 2018-08-07     
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  备考中多看一些雅思写作范文,必要时可以背诵其中几篇,积累常规的写作模板,词汇量和写作句型句式是该部分取得高分的必要因素。备考过程中发现自己的长短处,针对性攻克,高分就不远啦。

  作文题目:

雅思作文批改6.5分:结构简洁,很优秀

  作文内容:

  The table showsthe  consumer from five different nations expenditure of three types[A1]in 2002.

  The type of Food /Drinks  /Tobacco was the dominant expenditure in all five countries. Among them,  32.14% of Turkey was the biggest one. It was followed by 28.91% of Ireland.  Besides, the figures for other three countries, Spain, Italy and Sweden,  which were 18.80%, 16.36% and 15.77% respectively, were all under one fifth.

  In terms of Clothing  /Footwear, we could see that the percentage of Italian spending on it was the highest, with representing 9%. After that, the proportions  of Ireland, Spain and Turkey were extremely close (6.43%, 6.51% and 6.63%).  Similarly, consumer expenditure of Sweden on this category constituted 5.40%.

  Finally, Leisure /Education  was invested less then other two kinds, with all the data under 5%.

  In conclusion, the Food  /Drinks /Tobacco was the biggest cost of all nations, and the Clothing  /Footwear ranked second. Leisure  /Education was the last.

  The consumer expenditure of three types from five different nations,注意from短语的位置

  各项细评:

  针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议:

  整篇文章思路清晰,结构简洁,很优秀。但是在字数方面需要注意,全文共156个字,雅思作文最少要求150.可以在leisure/education部分添加具体的一些数值。

  附批改原图:

雅思作文批改6.5分:结构简洁,很优秀

  以上就是小编为大家介绍的关于雅思作文批改范文。更多雅思口语话题、雅思真题汇总等问题,可以咨询我们。

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