雅思作文批改6.5分:结构简洁,很优秀
- 2018-08-07
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备考中多看一些雅思写作范文,必要时可以背诵其中几篇,积累常规的写作模板,词汇量和写作句型句式是该部分取得高分的必要因素。备考过程中发现自己的长短处,针对性攻克,高分就不远啦。
作文题目:

作文内容:
The table showsthe consumer from five different nations expenditure of three types[A1]in 2002.
The type of Food /Drinks /Tobacco was the dominant expenditure in all five countries. Among them, 32.14% of Turkey was the biggest one. It was followed by 28.91% of Ireland. Besides, the figures for other three countries, Spain, Italy and Sweden, which were 18.80%, 16.36% and 15.77% respectively, were all under one fifth.
In terms of Clothing /Footwear, we could see that the percentage of Italian spending on it was the highest, with representing 9%. After that, the proportions of Ireland, Spain and Turkey were extremely close (6.43%, 6.51% and 6.63%). Similarly, consumer expenditure of Sweden on this category constituted 5.40%.
Finally, Leisure /Education was invested less then other two kinds, with all the data under 5%.
In conclusion, the Food /Drinks /Tobacco was the biggest cost of all nations, and the Clothing /Footwear ranked second. Leisure /Education was the last.
The consumer expenditure of three types from five different nations,注意from短语的位置
各项细评:
针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议:
整篇文章思路清晰,结构简洁,很优秀。但是在字数方面需要注意,全文共156个字,雅思作文最少要求150.可以在leisure/education部分添加具体的一些数值。
附批改原图:

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